


Tawny

by SharpestRose



Category: Buffy the Vampire Slayer
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2011-07-01
Updated: 2011-07-01
Packaged: 2017-10-20 21:56:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 719
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/217485
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SharpestRose/pseuds/SharpestRose
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Dawn finds Tara during 'seeing red'.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Tawny

  
No no nonono is this how Buffy felt when she found Mommy jesus god anyone please glory can you hear me please no.

She looks so small on the floor, like she's fallen asleep watching a movie. If I shake her awake she'll roll over and murmur something about fireflies. Tara, Tara, wake up please your blood's all sticky and cold on my hands no.

It didn't work when I tried to bring Mommy back but I can do it I know I can, Willow brought Buffy back good as new well nearly. Are you in heaven now Tara I hope you are you'd make such a pretty angel but I need you here please don't leave me.

Don't leave me don't leave me don't leave me.

Light the candles say the words I can feel all this magic in the air I think Willow was casting spells oh no poor Will you have to come back for her Tara please come back for me.

I was crying before but I'm not now. Need to be calm to chant and demand and plead. Godjesusglory if you can hear me you know who I am I'm a part of you I'm the Key and I demand you give Tara back. You can't have her, not yet. Never yet.

Still so cold.

We ate ice blocks in summer and our chins were all sticky from the juice and Willow licked at Tara's to clean her off but I had to wipe my own off with a tea towel.

Tara come back come back come back.

Ow ow ow it hurts what's happening Mommy Buffy save me something went wrong my head hurts. Everything's too bright and I feel all dizzy. Help. Taracomebackplease.

We ate ice blocks in summer and Willow licked my chin clean because it was all sticky. Dawn smiled and told us we were revolting but her aura glowed so bright and happy. Dawn called me Mommy once, when she was almost asleep. I cried that night. She's so small.

Everything's all mixed up and so bright I can't breathe Tara come back everything's all bright and so mixed up. Not my memories they don't feel like me. For all the monks did they couldn't get it quite right, memory isn't just a movie in your head. The edges blur and confuse and it's more like a dream.

Five years old playing on the front porch with my stuffed lion Tawny Tawny make her prowl and catch robbers and save the villagers. Daddy ow don't I wasn't doing anything wrong I don't have a Ken doll of course Barbie has to marry Midge. Midge has pretty pretty red hair it's all shiny can I have red hair too? Dye is the work of the devil is that who I get my sparkles from? Can she make my hair red if I ask her nicely.

We didn't have a porch our house in LA was all stone and chic and modern and stuff. I cut all my Barbie's hair off with Buffy's nail scissors because I wanted them to be punk and cool and rock stars. Mommy wouldn't let me have a guitar.

I sang in the choir at school oh holy holy there was a girl named Janet her hair was the colour of the sky at sunrise all pinky from the rosewater dyes the drugstore sold. Not quite red but she liked to kiss me and it tasted like cloves.

Tara's in my head realisation like a puzzle clicking together. Tara Tara can you hear me.

Dawn?

Yes! Yes yes oh Tara I thought you were gone.

What's happening? I feel all light and strange. My arms feel too long.

You're inside me I think. We're all tangled and tied and mixed up together like when you smush two plasticine colours together and it makes that weird grey-green instead. Together together you can't leave me now not ever again.

The gun. It hurt so much I thought I had nothing left but the hurt. Oh Dawn.

Hush don't cry you're making me cry too it's all right now everything's all right we'll go find Willow and tell her. Wonderful news and I'll stay back so you can say hello to her and we'll all be happily ever after.


End file.
